Dear Santa,

 NOTE: Please read the entire letter prior to eating the milk and cookies, we are trying to teach our children the benefits of following directions exactly.

      This wish list is being typed by a tired father just hours before Christmas morning is here. My children, as you know, are too small to write their own lists so I am taking care of that detail for them. You see, Santa, my wife has been under the weather and unable to do her daily activities around the house for the last week. You might notice some slightly non-traditional decorations scattered throughout this residence. With 4 children, my Christmas break from work has been a much harder task than I am used to.

In years past, my lovely wife of 9 years has been able to keep the house tidy, prepare meals, entertain guests, keep the kids clothed, and make sure the gifts are all purchased for everyone we know. This year, the flu has kept that from happening so it has been up to me to make everything happen. So, the first thing on my list of new responsibilities was to cancel the family Christmas party. I didn’t want everyone to show up to a messy house with no snacks, and leftover pizza for the main course. As for the unusual decorations, well… lets just say that it is hard to tell a 3 year old that the tampons she found under the bathroom sink were not appropriate to hang all over the tree when she worked so hard. That cute little smile followed by “Daddy, they even have strings to hang them with” is enough to melt any cold heart.

I guess you are getting hungry, so you could eat some of the cookies now. They were made with love by none other than our 8 year old. He worked diligently today to get the recipe just right, he even added some extra seasonings to make them special. I didn’t really care for the flavor of raisins with a hint of garlic and herb, but Rudolph may get some extra pep from the jalapeños.

The tree has several strands of lights on it, but I had no idea where the remaining decorations were stored so we had to improvise. The twins don’t really need all of the pacifiers we received at the baby showers, so that is their contribution. They are growing so fast, it is hard to believe they are already 3 months old. It has been hard following the instructions I had been given to not allow them any solid foods. Don’t tell mommy, but they really like chips and salsa…

Now for the kids wish lists… The oldest would like a cookbook so he can learn how to make more cookies. The 3 year old would like more of the decorations found under the sink since they work great for cleaning up spilled juice and paint. The twins are easy to please at 3 months, be sure to use bright wrapping paper on the older kids gifts and they will be happy.

Well, I am sure the jalapeños in the cookies are kicking in, so you are tempted by the nice tall glass of milk. Feel free to enjoy, and thanks for helping me out. You see, I accidentally gave the 2% milk to the twins, so I need you to finish off the breast milk to keep me out of trouble.

Yours Truly,

One Tired Papa

Hopefully this fictional story made you smile this Christmas….

Merry Christmas from The Scholl Bus Crew

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